We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
