Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
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