So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
