Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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