don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just pee around me
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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