she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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