Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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