i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
