just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
