was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
