I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize