If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize