Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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