So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize