The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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