Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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