I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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