I think I am morally bankrupt
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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