she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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