I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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