Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
