we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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