Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
