I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
