i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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