What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
