their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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