Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
