He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
