We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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