Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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