so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
