Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
