Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
