I need help removing her.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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