belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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