No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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