i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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