I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
