Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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