We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
