my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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