I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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