nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize