Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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