yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
