So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
