Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize