Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
