I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
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We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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