i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize