I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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