found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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