Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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