i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
